Leaders Read#96
- Lars Christensen
- Jul 20
- 2 min read
👋 Hello everyone,
David Augsburger said, “Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person, they are almost indistinguishable.”
Here are a few resources you might have missed:
📚 Book Summary:
This week's book is "How to Know a Person" by David Brooks.
The book is less about listening and more about the deeper art of making others feel seen. Through sometimes complex real-world examples, it explores how small, intentional acts of attention can have a big impact. The book reminds you of the simple tools to pay attention to others, but also highlights how difficult these tools can be to master.
One of my favorite takeaways from the book is this:
'I've learned that if you find yourself in a hard conversation, there are ways to redeem it. First, you step back from the conflict, and you try to figure out together what's gone wrong. You break the momentum by asking the other person, "How did we get to this tense place?" Then you do something the experts call "splitting." Splitting is when you clarify your own motives by first saying what they are not and then saying what they are. You say something like, "I certainly wasn't trying to silence your voice. I was trying to include your point of view with the many other points of view on this topic. But I went too fast. I should have paused to try to hear your voice fully so we could build from that reality. That was not respectful to you."'
✅ Actionable advice:
How do you ensure the conversation doesn't become hard and doesn't turn tense? Here is a test: In your next interaction—whether with a colleague or loved one—don't offer your perspective until you're certain—as if your life depended on it—that they've finished speaking and you truly understand their point of view.
Have a great week!
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